The essential ingredients for being happy
Lecturer Sandra Teschner lists some of them for a good start in 2020 Happiness is a matter of being, not having. For centuries we strode misinformed and oblivious to the best of life. It’s time to unlearn. Misled by conflicting relations with time, money, power, wealth, expectations and comparisons, we hope to achieve success as if it were synonymous with being happy. But happiness is the cause, not the consequence. It lies in the day-to-day journey that happy people live. We confuse moments of joy, an ephemeral feeling that responds promptly to a stimulus, with happiness, that cozy prolonged sense of well-being, fulfillment, and purpose. What gives us temporary pleasure may be a positive supplement to our general state of mind, but it works as an anesthetic: the doses have to be increased permanently in order for it to work. We always want more things, we believe that when we reach this or that we will be happy, and for that we make sacrifices and get disappointed. Activities which are not always pleasant when performed can be the foundation for long lasting well-being. Happy people cry, suffer, live through the stages of pain and regain control of their life. The opposite of happiness is not sadness, but apathy – as the opposite of love is not hate, but disdain. Science proves that 40% of our happiness depend on the choices we make and can be learned. Even if personal, social and cultural factors interfere with the generic result of surveys, some of them are unanimous in different parts of the world. Even if a “recipe” may sound frivolous, being happy resides in a hug, in positive personal relations, in affective memories, in the possible lightness of our days. The simplicity of the ingredients (some essential ones are listed below) is the good news for this coming decade. Enjoy in moderation. Start by choosing to be happy! More eco, less ego (altruists are happier, a fact!) Smile, release endorphins. Exercise. Read what challenges you, watch what amuses you, practice what relaxes you. Blend it all. Self-knowledge is the secret of taste. Help others! Giving is better than receiving; science has proven it! Excel in empathy. Meditate, practice faith. Learn how to breathe. Adopt a pet; they know all about unconditional love and forgiveness. Bring green into your life, build your urban jungle. Place positive sentences on the walls. Your unconscious mind is recording everything! Enjoy good company, socialize. Decorate your home with meaning. Let affective memories embrace the present! Use technology as a facilitator, not as a replacement! Nothing replaces the touch. Practice reversed logistics. Reuse, recycle, re-signify! Have a list of what makes you happy with you. Do not compare yourself with others; do not. The other is not you. The expectation of what your life should be is an endless source of unhappiness. Do you want to be happy? Build. Dream possible dreams! Be truly grateful. Invest on social connections, we’re happier together. Blend all items and repeat the dose every day. Sandra Teschner (@sandrateschner) changed her near-death experience into a driving force to understand how to choose happiness. She got the Chief Happiness Officer Certificate from the International University of Florida, in the United States, and gives lectures now. Sandra Teschner is a publisher, businesswoman, author, speaker on topics such as self-esteem, sustainability and fashion, and happiness. Certified by FIU (Florida International university) & Wohasu, Miami. Versão traduzida do artigo publicado na Revista Veja SP. Para acessar a versão em português, clique aqui.
WOMEN OF THE WORLD
Sandra Teschner (Photo: Reproduction/ Revista Marie Claire) “After nearly drowning in my own blood, I realized my mission is to spread happiness” Five years ago, entrepreneur Sandra Teschner was between life and death because of stress-induced condition. Still in hospital, she says everything changed when, in a coma, she saw a tunnel with pink light and people around her transmitting peace. One week later, when she recovered, Sandra decided she would “spread happiness”. Five years ago, Sandra Teschner was between life and death because of a health problem caused by stress. Still in hospital, she says everything changed when, in a coma, she saw a tunnel with pink light and people around her transmitting peace. One week later, when she recovered, Sandra decided she would “spread happiness”. She studied factors that make people happy in their everyday life and went on giving lectures around the world. Such dedication earned her the Chief Happiness Officer Certificate from the University of Florida. For Sandra, speaking of and teaching how to be happy is a mission. It all started in July 2014 when she lost her father and grandmother within six months. Sandra plunged into her work, at the time in corporate communication, until one day, under stress, she had a nosebleed. Rushed to the hospital, the entrepreneur says she went into a coma and was admitted to the ICU. Her chances of survival were slim. She says that her brother, a cardiologist, spoke to the doctors and the prognosis was that Sandra would not see the light of day. “I was intubated and taken to the operating room. They could not diagnose my problem. When they tried to stop the nosebleed, I inhaled my own blood and nearly drowned. My lungs were filled with blood. I remember seeing doctors around me. And that’s when I spotted a huge wooden gate. When this gate opened, I saw a tunnel, like those usually found under an overpass. And there was a very strong pink light. I was being pushed on a gurney and people looked at me with pity,” she tells Marie Claire. “I thought I was in a mental institution, but I saw that those people were in peace, but not me. I was very anxious on the gurney looking from one side to the other. I just wanted to know where my father and my grandmother were, and I couldn’t see them,” she continues. Sandra regained consciousness two days after she had been admitted to the ICU. “When I regained consciousness I was trying to understand all that had happened in that experience and realized that if I had seen my father and my grandmother, I would not have wanted to come back. I only had one phrase in my mind: ‘Life’s wisdom consists in changing everything you can, accepting the things you cannot change and, mostly, knowing how to tell the difference.’ I asked the doctor for a pencil and paper so I could write it, but I couldn’t. I was hospitalized for one week,” she recalls It was from this near-death experience that Sandra Teschner decided to study the science of happiness. She plunged into books and created a project called Planting Happiness that promises the “recipe for happiness,” combining scientifically accepted criteria for being happy with her own experiences. “In my research, I came across a course about happiness at the University of Florida and went there to study, to discuss the subject with authors of great books, and to actively participate in study groups. At the university, I learned that scientifically happiness is a choice, that 50% of the ability of being happy is genetic, 10% is the result of external events and the other 40% can be learned,” she explains. “It was clear that my mission would be to make other people understand that it is perfectly possible to learn how to be happy. Nowadays I practice everything I’ve learned in this specialization course and keep on learning about what makes one happy. After almost dying, I realized that I was born to spread happiness and that I could make a living out of it. I can say it’s a very rewarding job,” she observes. Sandra has also dedicated herself to social projects with children with amputated limbs, cancer and rare syndromes. “What changed for me since my near-death experience is I don’t want to eliminate problems and misfortunes. I know we cannot avoid obstacles. What matters is how we respond to them and that defines how we will feel. Giving is better than receiving; it’s not religion, it’s science. Being truly grateful gives you the opportunity to see the bright side of life and it reverberates more light. You can learn to be happy. And nobody needs to nearly die to learn that,” she declares. Sandra Teschner is a publisher, businesswoman, author, speaker on topics such as self-esteem, sustainability and fashion, and happiness. Certified by FIU (Florida International university) & Wohasu, Miami. Versão traduzida do artigo publicado na Revista Marie Claire. Para acessar a versão em português, clique aqui.